You don't have to stay trapped between a rock and a hard place.
There are lots of reasons to explain why you are not yet doing what you most love. Here are a few:
But not living your life doing and being what you love most comes at a staggering cost:
- Self-doubt - you don't think you have what it takes.
- External influence - you're trying to conform to what someone else thinks you should be doing.
- Discouragement and despair - you have tried many times in the past and now you have all but given up.
- Lack of encouragement and support - deciding to do what you love is one of the most vulnerable things we can do. We all need cheering on sometimes.
- Modesty - you may have been told that being excellent at something means that you are boastful, conceited or 'full of yourself.'
- Competition - if your talents lie in very crowded and competitive fields, such as film or music, it can seem easier not to try.
- Procrastination - you may either be meaning to 'get around to it' or perhaps you are waiting for the 'right' time.
- Confusion and indecisiveness - you keep changing your mind about what you want to do or the best way to express your unique gifts.
- Boredom - doing what you don't love is the hardest work in the world.
- Feeling like a fake - never feeling authentically and fully yourself.
- Regret - a feeling that often accompanies the belief that it is 'too late' to change your career or circumstances to do what you love.
- Stress - proven to be damaging both physically and psychologically, it can result from feeling that you have made the wrong life choices.
- Depression - can result from feeling trapped and unsatisfied and powerless to make changes.
- Addiction - can result as you resort to behaviours designed to numb the pain. Such addictions can include:
- Drugs (prescription and recreational)
Here is the truth - if it was easy you would have done it by now.
It isn't laziness, lack of self-discipline, lack of motivation or procrastination that gets between people and their dreams. It is fear. Fear that you don't have what it takes. Fear that the people you love, who are your bedrock, won't love you anymore if you change. Fear that you will never get there, no matter how much you want it or how hard you try. Fear that if, by some miracle you were able to get there, you'll have to face the vulnerability of standing out and be a potential target of other people's envy.
And, yeah, sometimes fear shows up as laziness, lack of self-discipline, lack of motivation or procrastination because our instinct for survival says it makes sense NOT to run a full speed towards the thing that scares the crap out of us.
That fear you're experiencing usually arises from one of these:
You don't believe you are worthy When Marianne Williamson (in her oft-quoted passage from A Return to Love) asks, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?" she is speaking for the huge numbers of us who have no idea that we deserve to feel good about ourselves. You might need to hear this more than once - you deserve to be loved and you deserve to do what you love. When we don't contribute our gifts, share what we alone can give, the world is poorer for it.
You don't have support Doing it alone - no role model, context or community - is horribly hard. Doing it in the face of opposition, disapproval or scorn from the people who are most important to us is close to impossible. The myth of the 'self-made (wo)man' - the idea of a bold and brave individual building a life from the ground up with little or no support - is a big old oppressive lie that keeps us in competition with each other instead of sharing the support and encouragement that would make us all unstoppable.
You don't know how Imagine you had left school fully equipped to design and create a life that fit you and for which you were truly fit.....how different would things be for you right now? Feeling overwhelmed, not knowing where and how to start, what steps to take or how to access information and help has killed many a dream. But it doesn't have to be this way: there are very simple processes to help reduce your huge goal down to tiny, very manageable steps.
In the face of these three obstacles, you need some powerful antidotes. Help is here:
I love to work with people just like you, people who, with a bit of support, a bit more know-how and a bit more self-belief would achieve great things.
I love to work with people just like you, people who, with a bit of support, a bit more know-how and a bit more self-belief would achieve great things. When you choose to work with me you get:
Support every step of the way, to dream as big as you dare, create a plan for getting there and to take the scary first step and every one after that.
Know-how That 'how' that you need to know can range from dealing with the fear that naturally arises every time we try something new to creating a bullet-proof plan that describes every action you need to take and squeezes out procrastination.
Belief in your worthiness Knowing who you are and what you want and recognising your right to be an expression of that stand at the heart of my work with you. For some, simply affirming that right is enough. For others, a process of undoing many years of negative programming is required. Whatever level of support you need, it is here for you.